Single life
No pit shaving and stinging deodorant
No unwanted sex
No fake tanning
No cooking
No make up
No cleaning
No fucking about with toenail polish
No being told what to do
No fanny ripping wax
No being told when you’ve had too many
No Saturday supermarket hell
No boring bond films
No being told you talk ‘hot air’
No being asked ‘what’s for dinner?’
No permitting affairs
No knickers cutting you in two
No bullying
No double standards
No slapping
No being dragged out of bed and threatened to be thrown down the stairs in front of your toddler daughter because you told your best friend what her husband had been up to on the men’s weekend away.
No barricading into a bedroom
No cares
No beautiful, priceless cares
