It’s wedding season again in Keighley. A time of pealing church bells, confetti and bouquets thrown to the bridesmaids. Nope scratch that and replace with car hire and fireworks. Lamborghinis and Ferraris in glorious shades of orange, red and putrid green are the weapons of choice. I witnessed three screech past as I hung my washing out today. I sighed and briefly daydreamed about the many uses of a handgun.
So this is a thing apparently. I mean until you move to a predominately Asian town you have no idea about such things. They hurtle into walls, end upside down in 20 mph zones and get randomly towed away by police when parked up. They go on all day and all night, roaring up and down the backroads impervious to human or animal life and no one does a thing about it.
The great big white speed clocking police van sits on the road outside mine regularly. It was there today waiting for something exciting to happen. My neighbour had a word a few weeks back, ‘they can see you a mile off and maybe try late at night when they do speed and not school run time?’. I howled with laughter. You’d be forgiven for believing that they don’t want to catch them. You couldn’t make it up.
So muhammed or mohammed, the uncle’s, cousin’s, father’s, daughter’s camel took a driving test so the whole street could hire a car from the Asian Wedding Supercars supplier in Bradistan.
See what the judge said about this https://www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk/news/14777495.judge-questions-car-hire-firms-policies-as-he-locks-up-banned-teenage-driver/ Like he doesn’t know how it works by now. Seriously?
How come the rest of us do?