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The things I remember

A Quiet Riot With Words & Art

Superwankers

HonestInk,

Following on from my post the other night about the hiring of supercars in Keighley, I encountered one walking into town this very morning. It was a lovely shade of Tango orange. Close to the ground with doors that may have opened in a special way. It was a lovely specimen. A lovely specimen of a gratuitous display of fucktardness parked as it was outside one of the row of terraced houses opposite the entrance to Cliffe castle park.

This guy was fucking about in his pocket sized garden pretending to sweep and looking about him constantly to see who was clocking his rental. He was still there and still in his pyjamas an hour and a half later on my return.

I wanted to zoom right into his mind. To delve into the depths of his Pakistani head. To find out how he correlated the wearing of his traditional clothing all day in the UK whilst hiring out a supercar. Google tells me it’s ok as long as no interest is paid and: ‘No Restriction on Luxury: Islamic principles do not prohibit owning or using luxury items like supercars, provided the wealth used to acquire them is earned through halal (permissible) means.’

 Oh how I chortled at that! There’s only about 950 taxis in keighley that only take cash and god knows how many barbers laundering drug money. A million of them run to the mosque every Friday and woe betide you’re trying to get out of Asda. Do none of them work? Are they all successful entrepreneurs that can run home, put their wife’s nighty on, run to prayers, run back again… oh fuck off.

Anyway as usual I digress. So back to the chap with the Maserati parked outside his house. The whole path and curb are littered with rubbish for starters. Further down the young unemployed inhabitants in the converted bedsits sit outside smoking weed and watching the traffic like they don’t have a care in the world. This is keighley and it’s pretty much a shithole. So what is this guy thinking? Who is he trying to impress? If the future wife has just landed at LBA on the latest flight from Islamabad surely a Silver Cross perambulator would suffice?

That guy on the Virgin flight that threatened to gang rape and then set fire to an air stewardess had two wives. He also had drug and alcohol problems. I just love a religious faith that allows you to pick and choose which bits you adhere to. All this pointing of fingers and shoutiness by the men in the middle east. Can’t they just stay over there fucking goats and each other’s children? They come here and we go bless them let them do what you like.

They do and it’s the women who suffer. Of course it is.

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